I’ve learned that it is one thing to suffer yourself, but it is another thing to suffer from the pain of others.

For the last few years, I have endured an endless string of odd disappointments at work: from a manager who refused to do anything to facilitate her employees’ ability to do their work (was it managerial ineptitude or simply fear) to the ongoing coincidental replacements of key personnel in the team designated to build the new product I’m working on. All through it, I’ve put in some insane hours, and I have the mental and physical (premature aging) scars to show for it.

There were some people who I hoped would be stuck in the same exhausting situation—yes, those who noisily complained about the congratulatory endorsements I received every time there was a group review but who vociferously refused to do any more work than bare minimum: these 2 particular individuals consistently complained about not being recognized but also left at 4:30 each day (after starting to get ready to leave at 4:00), talked for 30-60 minutes at a time with various people they could distract during the day, never stepped up to assist in any projects and yet toxically shied away from all manner of taking on more work. Yes, these 2, I wouldn’t have minded if they went through the same torture.

And then there is a completely different story.

I wake up in the middle of the night and can’t go back to sleep because I know there is so much I haven’t finished and so much more I need to do.

A colleague from another department in our division said to me this week, almost on the verge of tears. For more than a year, she had been taking work home, working weeknights and weekends. But after a recent restructuring, her once massive workload tripled. “Have they set me up to fail here?” she asked me last week. There is another in her department that is going through the same thing.

While I’ve endured many late and sleepless nights toiling away on projects for the last 3-4 years, it is that much more difficult to stomach the plight of colleagues—who work really, really hard—going through the same turmoil. Something has to give. Something will. We are only human.

*                    *                    *

Sunshine, a haunting escape into the darkness of space to reach the sun in order to reignite the fiery ball of fire with a nuclear weapon the size of the island of Manhattan. What for most of the film is an eerie journey into the unknown—crew must fend of psychotic episodes after traveling for 7+ years towards the sun while dealing with the potential saboteur of the first mission’s mysterious disappearance—ends in a metaphysical wrestle between fundamentalism and science. I’m not a huge fan of Danny Boyle, he of Slumdog Millionaire and 28 Days Later (not to mention Trainspotting) fame, but I wished he had prepared us for that jump all along the film.

I watched this in Blu-Ray a week ago, and it left me feeling…haunted and empty and hollow, as if for the first time in a very long time, I considered the emptiness/loneliness of space, the vastness of the universe which God created and the infinitesimally small nature of our “humanity.”

Christian brothers and sisters—who share the Gospel of Jesus Christ, as the one and only Son of God, who came to be man so that He may die and suffer the penalty of all our sins so that when we die, those who acknowledge Him as Lord and Savior will no longer be bound to eternal death, but will be with our God forever—what does true fellowship look like?

Just as Christ was reborn in the resurrection, we have been reborn in Him. But how is there rebirth if we do not live our lives—with our every thought, act and word—as if we have been transformed?

If we say that we have fellowship with Him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth; but if we walk in the Light as He Himself is in the Light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus His Son cleanses us from all sin.
1 John 1:6–7 (NASB)

How are we, then, different from those who do not acknowledge Him as Savior and Lord? It is not enough simply to “believe” that He is our Savior, as so many easy-salvation evangelicals (especially the televangelists) preach. If you are truly transformed, then your lives will show it. If not, well then, how are we any different?

Do not love the world nor the things of the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh and the lust of the eyes and the boastful pride of life, is not from the Father, but is from the world.
1 John 2:15–16 (NASB)

And, the world . . .

. . . is passing away, and also its lusts; but the one who does the will of God lives forever.
1 John 2:17 (NASB)

In the first years of my rebirth, I was blessed with the fellowship of a group of men at CCCNJ who welcomed, nurtured, challenged, exhorted, instructed and helped me see God and the Holy Spirit’s presence in my life. Sadly, I cannot say that I have since ever experienced anything close to the same. This is as much my own fault than anyone else’s, if not more. God bless you guys in that great men’s group (wherever you are)! There was no challenge that was left unmet, personally and as a group, as we fought through so many issues…nurtured by God’s Word and His hand in guidance in each of us: we truly sought to live enlightened lives. I would hope the same for every Christian brother and sister.

Therefore, I exhort the elders among you, as your fellow elder and witness of the sufferings of Christ, and a partaker also of the glory that is to be revealed, shepherd the flock of God among you, exercising oversight not under compulsion, but voluntarily, according to the will of God; and not for sordid gain, but with eagerness; nor yet as lording it over those allotted to your charge, but proving to be examples to the flock.
1 Peter 5:1–3 (NASB)

Just as I am calling for elders to hold true to the Word, shed the world that has crept into their lives and lead by enlightened examples, I exhort them to be equally bold in holding the younger Christians to submit to God.

You younger men, likewise, be subject to your elders; and all of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, for God is opposed to the proud, but gives grace to the humble.
1 Peter 5:5 (NASB)

And, at the same time, I implore those of the younger generation also to submit to the elders’ leadership—so long as it is Biblically sound—so that we can all-together live as God intended.

…that you advertise to your audience. I had no idea—and was quite surprised to find out—that those who watch The Real Housewives (any iteration) also read The New York Times (or, read at all).

On a similar note…

Finally…someone of influence—or at least, in the media—wrote exactly what I’ve been thinking all along!

I was recently in a Duane Reade drugstore, having a Hamlet fit of temporizing over which moisturizer to choose, when the normal tedium pervading the aisles was suddenly rent by the ranting distress of a young woman in her early 20s, pacing around and fuming into her cell phone. She made no effort to muffle her foulmouthed monologue, treating everyone to a one-sided tale of backstabbing betrayal—“She pretended to be my friend and shit all over me”—as mascara ran down her cheeks like raccoon tears. Judging from the unanimous round of stony expressions from customers and cashiers alike, her cri de coeur engendered no sympathy from the jury pool, partly because there was something phony about her angst, something “performative,” as they say in cultural studies. Her meltdown was reminding me of something, and then it flashed: this is how drama queens behave on Reality TV—a perfect mimicry of every spoiled snot licensed to pout on Bravo or VH1 or MTV. The thin-skinned, martyred pride, the petulant, self-centered psychodrama—she was playing the scene as if a camera crew were present, recording her wailing solo for the highlight reel. Proof, perhaps, that the ruinous effects of Reality TV have reached street level and invaded the behavioral bloodstream, goading attention junkies to act as if we’re all extras in their vanity production. There was a time when idealistic folksingers such as myself believed that Reality TV was a programming vogue that would peak and recede, leaving only its hardiest show-offs.  Instead, it has metastasized like toxic mold [emphasis added], filling every nook and opening new crannies. Idiocracy, Mike Judge’s satire about a future society too dumb to wipe itself, now looks like a prescient documentary.
Excerpted from “I’m a Culture Critic…Get Me Out of Here!” | James Wolcott | Vanity Fair | December 2009

It really amazes me when I see people otherwise very well educated glued to their TV screens and attached to the next episode of such self-glorifying portrayals of excess and pettiness like the “Real Housewives of…” series, the inane machinations under the watchful eye of “Big Brother” and in the so-called “Real World.”

Did Isabelle’s laundry today and when getting ready to transfer the clothes from washer to dryer, this is what I found! Looks like the plushies had a bit of a party in the spin cycle! How many of them can you find?

A few photos long overdue from the Oxford trip at the end of October. Another week of working with the technology guys out at the mother office, spending the weekend doing—what else?—work, and then joined by the rest of the US law editorial team for US-UK strategy meetings. If it wasn’t for their arrival, I would have most likely spent my entire time there working. To be honest, if any one of us was out there alone, we would’ve spent the entire time working, such as it is with the workload right now. I guess social is as social is.

“Cheapskate Sausage” at The Big Bang on Friday

The cheapskate sausage, made up of “two of our less delicious sausages,” a wonderfully apt description! None of us ventured to try that one, although the rest of the menu of bangers and mash were delicious. Located just up the street from OUP, the Big Bang was a nice, casual and fun place if you enjoy sausages and potatoes.

The Old Parsonage

A bike left for a week, whose parts were being slowly scavenged.

I took a stroll down Banbury past the Old Parsonage, glimpsing to capture some photos of the charming hotel on a rainy Saturday morning and possibly some other parts of Oxford before heading into the office to prepare for next week’s meetings. Out of all my days there, this was the rainiest, chilliest—the rain came down sideways as the wind whipped up loud banging of opened windows while I was in the office—and thus did not afford too many good photo opportunities.

Sunday came, and after attending Sunday service at Emmanuel Church Oxford (see separate post), I trudged over to the Old Parsonage to check-in and meet up with the rest of US Law Division. With Ebin and Mark, we walked over to the Lamb & the Flag for a pint and lunch (delicious beef pie!). As they went back to the hotel to check-in, I joined Peter, Michelle, Ninell and Kevin on Peter’s very, very short, impromptu guided tour of Oxford. It was getting dark fast as this was day one after end of daylight-savings time, and thus very few opportunity for scenic photos.

An ant’s eye view southward on St. John’s Street from Wellington Square.

Kevin said “Look, it’s the moon!”

Monday night, after an extremely long day including skipping breakfast and hectically finalizing presentation—and then presenting and then trying to do more of my own project there—I was able to spend some good quality “wandering Oxford” time with Ebin, Ninell, Mark & Chris. After a dinner and a pint at the famous Gardeners Arms first, of course!

Guinness (and Michelle) at the Gardeners Arms

Ninell (and Kevin’s seemingly ginormous hand)

The Authoritative Ebin

On Broad Street

Ninell and Ebin at the King’s Arms

Tuesday night, after another long day of meetings and project work, a company-sponsored pub time at Jude the Obscure and then dinner at a tapas bar (odd choice for an “English” dinner, I think) along with some additional pub time (at the Royal Oak) later.

Tapas!

Sarah

Ninell and Vicky @ the Royal Oak

Alfresco dining at the Old Parsonage’s courtyard.

What a long trip…walking back to the Old Parsonage in the drizzly night. Time for bed, a morning’s worth of meetings and looking forward to going home to see Simone & Isabelle!

Turning in for the night, the restaurant at the Old Parsonage.

In hindsight, it appears drinking beer was a lot of my non-work activity there. “When in Rome!” All kidding aside, though, I’m not an advocate for drinking until you’re trashed or excessive drinking of any kind. For me, alcohol—mostly wines—enhance meals, especially meats, so well. Beer, in a different way, really accompanies a heavy meal such as burgers or fish-n-chips, for example. As I’ve written about before, my parents brought me up “European” in that at a young age, they introduced me alcohol, like beer and wine, so that I’d learn how to drink. In high school, I couldn’t understand why all my classmates were bent on getting their hands on beer and getting drunk. You drink with food, you idiots! HAHA! Happy Advent!

A weekly segment of the Mike and Mike sports talk show (daily on ESPN Radio), the “Just Shut Up” award is given to those human beings in the sports media who exude such selfish, self-adulatory behavior that deserves to be told to just shut up!

Today, the award definitely goes to that husband and wife team—Michaele and Tareq Salahi—and their continuing attempt to become celebrities. Really, do you think this ongoing drama is anything but? They win the award (probably for the decade) for sneaking into a White House formal dinner with a visiting head of state all for the sake of media attention in order to get onto a reality TV show. And now they have the gall to claim on national television that the police have to wait for their explanation?! Seriously, folks, just shut up!

First of all, it was trespassing! I’m sorry, but any black man (or other minority, if you will) who trespasses on anyone’s property—forget the fact that it was the White House—would probably be arrested on the spot! No one has the opportunity to go days without being arrested….or on national TV to explain their stories only to say that the police and the public can wait for their explanation. Are you kidding me?

What they are probably trying to do (with their lawyers’ (face it, they probably have a team of them) help) is trying to come up with ways to explain their actions and keep them out of jail. But, why are they given this time? Why haven’t they been arrested already and just made to shut up! They deserve a reality TV show alright: the federal penitentiary! Time to throw away the trash, people!

And…a true sign of how desperate NBC is for ratings is the fact that NBC gave the Salahis the forum to speak on this morning’s Today Show. The worst example of a breach of contract between journalists and the public came with Matt Lauer’s complete kowtowing to corporate pressure and terribly representing journalist everywhere by simply avoiding any pressuring questions on the Salahis. What an absolute disgrace and just pathetic: shame on you, Mr. Lauer and NBC!

Just a New York shout-out of Happy Thanksgiving to you all out there with a very, very New York view.

Our little footballer is down this weekend. She started running a fever Saturday afternoon and has been completely out of it since. Poor dear. Like bigger kids (and adults, I guess), this is the most TV she has ever watched. I hope she doesn’t get addicted. Pray for her quick recovery please. Thank you!

Ledger & a Guinness | The Gardeners Arms, Oxford, UK | October 26, 2009

It is no secret that I’ve been looking forward to the DVD release of Star Trek since, well, the film opened early this summer. But when the wife and I were randomly flipping through channels last night and the usual pre-release commercial for the DVD ran with the tagline “Own it this Tuesday,” I immediately thought, “wow….that’s tomorrow,” thinking that it was Monday night, November 16.

Today is not the 17th, nor last night the 16th. Since the onslaught of the day-after-day feeling of drowning in work and to-do lists that never end or never get finished—beginning when the acquisition occurred and which continues to snowball exponentially—I have slowly lost track of days. For a person who used to be able tell you the time of day—to the minute—if you asked hours into the day and hours since I last checked the time, this is quite troubling. Forget minutes, I’ve lost track of days.

What will I be losing next?

I miss a pint (or two) of Guinness after work each day. LOL!

EDIT: 24 November 2009 @ 9:54am — Star Trek was more awesome (yeah, that awesome) than I (and Simone) ever expected! The extras in a separate BD disc were equally filled with awesomeness!

Remember this entry: “Convictions” from 2007 March? Who’s the fool indeed? Indeed, in the last 1.5 years, the project I had been working 3 yrs to get approved…well, got approved. And since then, I’ve been toiling away—on weekends, into the weeknights—to get the work done to meet the deadlines which we’ve set (although seriously, what did I have to say in the deadline/timelines).

What was the alternative? Especially in this economy, does one such as myself say “no more!” I would surely have been let go, replaced by someone who would get the job done. What would you do? Does being a Christian change your answer?